"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." — Proverbs 4:23 (KJV)
The short answer
The Bible does not describe modern dating, but it gives clear principles for it: guard your heart, pursue purity, treat the other person with honour, and do not bind yourself to someone who does not share your faith. Its wisdom is anchored in Proverbs 4:23, 2 Corinthians 6:14, and 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4.
The word "dating" never appears in Scripture, and it would be a mistake to force a modern practice into an ancient text. Yet the Bible is far from silent about how two people should treat one another when love is in view. It speaks to the heart behind the relationship, the character worth seeking, and the kind of love that actually lasts. What follows is not a rulebook to make anyone anxious, but principles — quoted exactly from the King James Version — that free you to pursue relationships with wisdom, honour, and joy.
Does it matter who I date?
Dating is rarely as casual as it feels; it shapes us in the direction of the person we grow closest to. Scripture asks us to be thoughtful, not fearful, about that pull.
"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" — 2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV)
The picture is of two animals bound to the same yoke, trying to walk in different directions. Paul's concern is not superiority but strain — a relationship built to head toward marriage works best when both hearts are pulling the same way. This is a guardrail for your deepest bonds, never a licence to treat anyone as beneath you.
"Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners." — 1 Corinthians 15:33 (KJV)
We become like those we keep closest. A relationship that gently draws you toward patience, honesty, and faith is a gift; one that steadily wears those things down is a warning worth heeding early, before your heart is fully given.
How do I guard my heart while dating?
To guard your heart is not to shut it, but to steward it — to give it wisely and to keep your affections and your body in step with your faith.
"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." — Proverbs 4:23 (KJV)
The heart is called a wellspring: everything downstream flows from it. Guarding it "with all diligence" means paying attention to what you feed it, how fast you give it away, and whether the relationship is drawing you toward God or away from Him.
"For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;" — 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 (KJV)
Purity here is framed positively, as honour. To treat someone with "sanctification and honour" is to refuse to use them, to protect their dignity as much as your own, and to let love wait for the safety of covenant. This is not shame; it is the highest respect one person can show another.
What should I look for in a person?
Attraction is real and good, but the Bible steadily turns our eyes to something deeper and more durable than appearance: character, and a heart turned toward God.
"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised." — Proverbs 31:30 (KJV)
Charm can be performed and beauty inevitably changes; reverence for God is what remains. The same wisdom cuts both ways — whether you are looking or being looked at, the quality worth prizing is a life anchored in the fear of the Lord.
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." — Philippians 4:8 (KJV)
This is a fine filter for the heart. When you consider someone, ask honestly: is what draws me to them true, honest, pure, of good report? Where your mind lingers, your affections tend to follow.
What does real love actually look like?
Beneath the excitement of romance, the Bible defines love not as a feeling that happens to us but as a way of treating another person — patient, kind, and unselfish.
"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." — 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (KJV)
Read it slowly and it becomes a mirror. Real love "seeketh not her own" — it is more interested in the other person's good than in getting its own way. A relationship worth keeping is one where this kind of love is being learned, however imperfectly, by both of you.
"I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, until he please." — Song of Solomon 8:4 (KJV)
Even in the Bible's great love poem, there is a refrain of patience: do not awaken love before its time. There is no need to rush what God is unfolding. Love given room to grow in honour is worth the wait.
Frequently asked questions
Does the Bible say anything about dating?
The Bible never mentions modern dating by name, because courtship in the ancient world looked very different. What it does give are timeless principles that apply directly: guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23), pursue purity and honour (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4), choose your closest company wisely (1 Corinthians 15:33), and do not bind yourself to someone who does not share your faith (2 Corinthians 6:14). Dating is not commanded or forbidden; it is an arena where these principles are meant to be lived out with love and self-control.
Is it wrong to date a non-Christian?
Scripture urges believers not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV), and dating that heads toward marriage is where this matters most, since marriage joins two lives at the deepest level. This is not a call to look down on anyone; it is wisdom that protects your faith and your future home from being pulled in two directions. Many Christians apply it as a firm guardrail for anyone they would consider marrying, while extending warmth and respect to every person regardless of their belief.
"Let all your things be done with charity." — 1 Corinthians 16:14 (KJV)
Take it deeper
These verses are a beginning, not the whole of what God says about love and relationships. FlickerFaith is a Scripture-first study companion — open it to read these passages in full context, search related verses, pray through the questions your relationships raise, and think honestly about honour, purity, and patience. It keeps you close to the Word, not away from it.
Keep reading
If dating is leading toward a lifelong covenant, see what the Bible says about marriage and sexual purity. You may also explore divorce and loving your enemies. Browse all Bible topics, try AI Bible study, or return home.